Saturday, August 16, 2008

My lament...

The time is now 5.36am on a Saturday morning and I've been awake for bout 2 hours. I don't know if I should blame the chinese tea that I took during dinner (just that 2-3 small cups) or about this something that I'm going through....it's not the first time that I just startled out of my sleep and stared at the ceiling for hours cracking my brains on something or simply playing cards with myself when I just don't want to think of it anymore.

Well, being the 'Thinking Man' me, sometimes I tend to think too much before making the final decision...and I do mean I think too much......way too much.....simply because I don't want to make a decision only to regret it later in my life...and sometimes, being too careful is not a good thing...and this time round, the decision came in too late...One good example is that I sometimes do regret why I didn't take up the offer to study in Singapore after my SPM...and that remains as one of the biggest regrets in my life, but I could always console myself that I'm not doing that bad either now with my pursuit for a PhD...but as for the thing on my mind now, I think it's one of those in the top 3...and at the moment, there's nothing that I can think of to console myself, except that a silver lining will show up someday to make up for it...what crap is that??!! Blimey!!

It is during times like this that I don't even know who I am!! Sudden lack of confidence and logical/analytical thinking is just not me!!
It's as though my soul has wandered off somewhere in search for salvation itself...leaving my brains to function without any conscience....thinking but endless thoughts which end up to nothing...hanging questions to be answered... The only good thing is that I manage to hide it so well that mom doesn't realize it :-p Just don't want them to worry too much about me...but I'm not sure how long I can hang on this way haha

Wow! Never thought that these few paragraphs took me more than half an hour to write...haha maybe I ought to go back to sleep....don't know....was thinking of going out for a drive or at least a jog till the sunrise...will see...the cans of Carlsbergs in the fridge are quite tempting but I'm not the type who would shut down my brains by means of alcohol...there's a bottle of 100Plus though haha

Alright....enough of craps....thanks to whoever you are for reading the nonsense above :-) I shall end my post with a quote from The Matrix movie....really can't think of any other movie...sorry...


"Life...it seems is not without a sense of irony..."
~Morpheus~


Sorry...no cheers for today...


3 comments:

iamyuanwu said...

"[...]the cans of Carlsbergs in the fridge are quite tempting but I'm not the type who would shut down my brains by means of alcohol[...]"

Marktrix, were you drunk when you uttered that line? =P

The Marktrix said...

I don't drink I was drunk but all I know was that I was extremely depressed during that time :-)

So going out this Sat? Confirmed?


Cheers

The Marktrix said...

"[...] I don't drink I was drunk...[...]"

Man...I think I am really drunk....I wanted to say "I don't think I was drunk..." hahahah